{"id":44,"date":"2018-01-08T14:58:11","date_gmt":"2018-01-08T12:58:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/?p=44"},"modified":"2018-05-18T15:00:25","modified_gmt":"2018-05-18T12:00:25","slug":"masajul-sexual","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/?p=44","title":{"rendered":"Masajul sexual"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A trecut \u015fi Sf. Ion. S-a \u00eenchis perioada s\u0103rb\u0103torilor de iarn\u0103 care-ncepe \u00een Decembrie. Practic se schimb\u0103 ceva, ca \u015fi cum am trece \u00eentr-alt\u0103 dimensiune.<br \/>\nDimensiune caracterizat\u0103 de ceva mai mult\u0103 aten\u021bie la ceilal\u021bi chiar \u015fi numai pentru c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 le alegem un cadou. \u015ei la noi. La noi prin ochii celorlal\u021bi.<\/p>\n<p>E plin\u0103 de s\u0103rb\u0103tori, onomastici, s\u0103rb\u0103tori\u021bi, art\u0103, carne de porc, alcool, vizite, \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u015f\u0103ri, pup\u0103turi (unele pe gur\u0103, de la cei mai \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103 &#8211; din familie &#8211; de care \u00een timp ai \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 te fere\u015fti. \u00centorci mult capul \u015fi atingi cu obrazul, pe acolo pe unde se \u00eencordeaz\u0103 maxilarul, \u00een filme, la cadrul str\u00e2ns pe eroul principal, de regul\u0103 un dur plin de sensibilit\u0103\u021bi).<\/p>\n<p>Dar \u015fi de promisiuni, bilan\u021buri, reg\u0103siri, re\u00eentoarceri, nostalgii, amintiri, proiec\u021bii. \u015ei de dulce, mult dulce: cozonaci, poale-n br\u00e2u, alba ca z\u0103pada, rulouri, televizor, krantz&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Pe r\u00e2nd se succed ocazii de petrecere; Nicolae, ghete, emo\u021bii, post, Hristos, Melchior (magi), brad, Cristian, \u015etefan, trecerea dintre ani, Vasile, Sorcova, Boboteaz\u0103, biseric\u0103, Ion.<\/p>\n<p>Nu-i r\u0103u \u00een perioada asta. Treab\u0103 era mai pu\u021bin\u0103, mai multe zile de stat \u00een cas\u0103 la c\u0103ldur\u0103, vin fiert, citit.<br \/>\nTata m\u0103 punea doar s\u0103 cr\u0103p lemne \u015fi s\u0103 fac urm\u0103. P\u00e2n\u0103 la veceu, la c\u00e2ini, la beci (vinul&#8230;) \u015fi prin ograd\u0103, s\u0103 nu ne d\u0103m peste cap.<br \/>\nAtunci era z\u0103pad\u0103, iarna. \u015ei frig.<\/p>\n<p>De Cr\u0103ciun venea popa, cu ajunul.<br \/>\nMama preg\u0103tea turte, un dulce simplu, ce simbolizeaz\u0103 scutecele lui Hristos.<\/p>\n<p>Ap\u0103, f\u0103in\u0103, sare, astea erau ingredientele. Coapte pe plit\u0103. Rezultau ni\u015fte foi sub\u021biri, uscate, crocante. Ca ni\u015fte azime s\u0103r\u0103cu\u021be.<\/p>\n<p>Se insiropau \u00een ap\u0103 cu zah\u0103r \u015fi puse pe o farfurie. Un strat de nuc\u0103 m\u0103cinat\u0103, cu zah\u0103r. Altul de coptur\u0103 \u015fi tot a\u015fa p\u00e2n\u0103 se \u00een\u0103l\u021ba c\u00e2t un tort, s\u0103 zicem. Se p\u0103strau la rece.<\/p>\n<p>Tata f\u0103cea echipa de t\u0103iat porcul. Venea Na\u015fu (chiar na\u015ful alor mei, \u015fi-al meu) pe hat la deal, prin gr\u0103din\u0103, agale. El d\u0103dea drumu&#8217; la s\u00e2nge.<\/p>\n<p>Eu \u00eel vedem pe geam \u015fi m\u0103 ascundeam. D\u0103deam radioul tare, un Pacific dotat cu pickup, mare \u015fi greu. M\u0103 afundam \u00eentre perne dar tot \u00eel auzeam pe nefericit cum gui\u021b\u0103. C\u00e2nd se potolea g\u0103l\u0103gia, ie\u015feam.<br \/>\n\u00cembr\u0103cat bine, cu vestu\u021ba de l\u00e2n\u0103 pe sub hain\u0103, s\u0103-mi \u021bin\u0103 spatele \u015fi c\u0103ciul\u0103 pe cap.<\/p>\n<p>\u00cel p\u00e2rleau cu lamp\u0103 de benzin\u0103, sau paie, sau butelie, dac\u0103 f\u0103ceau rost de arz\u0103tor.<br \/>\n\u00cemi pl\u0103cea s\u0103 stau pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 ei. Vorbeau porcos (cum altfel?), beau rachiu \u015fi vin fiert.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Auzi, Ionic\u0103, zicea nea M\u00e2nicu\u021b\u0103&#8230; Era fat\u0103 mare scroafa asta, ia uite ce tare-i carnea pe ea&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>La sf\u00e2r\u015fitul zilei se punea carnea la fum. \u00cen cas\u0103, femeile terminaser\u0103 c\u00e2rna\u021bii, caltabo\u015fii, s\u0103raser\u0103 sl\u0103ninile.<\/p>\n<p>Pomana porcului se \u00eent\u00e2mpla \u00een ceaun, afar\u0103. \u015ei m\u0103liga la fel. Eu a\u015fteptam salata de varz\u0103 murat\u0103, cu ulei \u015fi piper.<\/p>\n<p>Mai erau crime \u015fi la \u00eenceput de Ianuarie, pentru Sf. Ion. Uzan\u021bele cereau carne u\u015foar\u0103, a\u015fa c\u0103 tata alegea c\u00e2\u021biva iepuri din timp. Iepuroii mai pu\u021bin vrednici erau pe lista.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Tata, da&#8217; ce le faci, \u00eei tai, \u00eentrebam speriat de r\u0103spuns?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Nu, tat\u0103, le fac buzunar la g\u00e2t. Hai s\u0103 m\u0103 aju\u021bi.<\/p>\n<p>Mergeam, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi fie drag. C\u00e2nd nu mai mi\u015fcau le sufla aer sub piele c-un furtuna\u015f sub\u021bire pe la pioarele din spate. Erau mai u\u015for de belit.<br \/>\nSigur c-am avut c\u0103ciul\u0103 de blan\u0103 de iepure. Nu-mi pl\u0103cea da&#8217; \u021binea cald. \u00cemi luam \u015fi dumnezei dac\u0103 n-o purtam.<\/p>\n<p>Pu\u015fi \u00een tav\u0103 se schimba treaba. N-aveam un dram de mil\u0103, alegeam cu \u00eendem\u00e2nare ni\u015fte fascii musculare de pe coaste &#8211; buc\u0103\u021bi sub\u021biri \u015fi fragede, ce se r\u0103suceau de la c\u0103dur\u0103, la g\u0103tit, \u015fi rinichii.<\/p>\n<p>Cu uratul, colindul, sorcova \u015fi ce mai era&#8230;.str\u00e2ngeam p\u00e2n\u0103 spre 2000 de lei, cu b\u0103taie. O leaf\u0103 bunicic\u0103&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Mai venea popa o dat\u0103, cu Boboteaza. Spun pop\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 etichetare, nu-i peiorativ. \u015ei str\u0103zile se cheam\u0103 Popa Soare, Popa Tatu, Popa Savu etc. Juc\u0103m popa prostu&#8217; nu preotu&#8217; prostu&#8217;.<br \/>\nA\u015fa s-a s\u0103pat \u00een mentalul colectiv.<\/p>\n<p>Deci n-o s\u0103 vorbesc acum de telefonul ce sun\u0103 \u00een timp ce popa cite\u015fte mortului. Al popii, gen. Aia-i alt\u0103 vorb\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>La noi venea popa Busuioc. A\u015fa-l chema pe el. Fire\u015fte c\u0103 era pop\u0103, nu te nume\u015fti Busuioc \u015fi te faci t\u00e2mplar.<\/p>\n<p>B\u0103tr\u00e2ior, a\u015fa l-am prins, alunecos \u00een atitudine (p\u0103rerea mea), pedant p\u00e2n\u0103 la Dumnezeu, avea \u015fi pile, ori\u015fic\u00e2t, nu?<br \/>\nAvea p\u0103rul negru abanos, albastru parc\u0103, de negru ce era. Musta\u021ba, \u015fi ea vopsit\u0103, era t\u0103iat\u0103 atent, geometric.<br \/>\nGurile rele spuneau c\u0103 mai stropea cu busuioc, dac\u0103 era loc.<\/p>\n<p>Cic\u0103-\u015fi \u00eentindea \u015fi pielea, pe ici, pe colo. Cu mama era tot miere, din Lidioara n-o scotea, \u015ftia c\u0103-i nepoat\u0103 de pop\u0103 \u015fcolit afar\u0103 \u015fi cu putere.<\/p>\n<p>Mi-a devenit simpatic acu&#8217; vreo dou\u0103j de ani. Eram \u00een sesiune a\u015fa c-am stat acas\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 dup\u0103 Sf. Ion, s\u0103 petrecem to\u021bi. Tata, Ion, sor-mea, Ioana, eu&#8230;Ionu\u021b.<br \/>\n\u015etiu c\u0103 nu \u015fi-au b\u0103tut capul prea mult. Nu spui nici de creativitate.<\/p>\n<p>La Bucure\u015fti cumparam c\u0103r\u021bi de-a valma, f\u0103r\u0103 discern\u0103m\u00e2nt. Se face c\u0103 atunci m\u0103 uitam pe Masajul sexual. Carte explicit\u0103 asupra con\u021binutului, \u00eenc\u0103 de la copert\u0103. De asta o \u015fi luasem.<\/p>\n<p>Acasa mi-am apropriat camera cea mai mare, s\u0103 pot sta p\u00e2n\u0103 t\u00e2rziu. Studiam foarte mult.<\/p>\n<p>Nu lungesc mai mult, vine popa Busuioc, cu dasc\u0103lul, noi \u015ftiam deja, sunt \u00eent\u00e2mpina\u021bi de mama. Tata nu lua parte, zicea s\u0103 d\u0103m drumu&#8217; la c\u00e2ni. R\u00e2dea&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u00cei primim \u00een camera bun\u0103, cea \u00een care st\u0103team eu.<\/p>\n<p>Dasc\u0103lul morm\u0103ie, strope\u015fte pe peste tot, pup\u0103m crucea, cartea.<\/p>\n<p>Pe mas\u0103, din timp pregatite, prajituri, un pahar cu vin&#8230;\u015fi \u00eentr-un col\u021b, cartea mea. P\u0103rintele o scruta intens, i s-a mi\u015fcat musta\u021ba. Mama, atent\u0103 la oaspete, se duce dup\u0103 privirea lui \u015fi se albe\u015fte.<\/p>\n<p>Pentru ca apoi s\u0103 fie stacojie, toat\u0103. Sare f\u0103r\u0103 de sine, mai mai s\u0103 r\u0103stoarne masa cu toate cele, \u015fi \u00eentoarce cartea pe partea cealalt\u0103. Coperta IV, cum ar veni.<\/p>\n<p>Care n-avea doar o poz\u0103, ca cea cu titlul, ci 4, mai mici \u015fi mai detaliate oleac\u0103.<br \/>\nA \u00eenlemnit, a\u015ftepta o sc\u0103pare de la mine. R\u00e2deam.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Las\u0103, Lidioara drag\u0103, las\u0103. Am v\u0103zut deja, de c\u00e2nd am intrat. Ce-i frumos \u015fi lu&#8217; Dumnezeu \u00eei place, mi-a z\u00e2mbit complice, binecuv\u00e2nt\u00e2ndu-m\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>Am z\u00e2mbit \u015fi eu.<br \/>\nNe-am \u00een\u021beles.<\/p>\n<p>La mul\u021bi ani, oameni buni!<\/p>\n<p>V\u0103 mul\u021bumesc pentru ur\u0103ri!<\/p>\n<p>Asta era cartea&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-45\" src=\"http:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/masajul-sexual.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"261\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/masajul-sexual.jpg 261w, https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/masajul-sexual-196x300.jpg 196w, https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/05\/masajul-sexual-100x153.jpg 100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 261px) 100vw, 261px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A trecut \u015fi Sf. Ion. S-a \u00eenchis perioada s\u0103rb\u0103torilor de iarn\u0103 care-ncepe \u00een Decembrie. Practic se schimb\u0103 ceva, ca \u015fi cum am trece \u00eentr-alt\u0103 dimensiune. Dimensiune caracterizat\u0103 de ceva mai mult\u0103 aten\u021bie la ceilal\u021bi chiar \u015fi numai pentru c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 le alegem un cadou. \u015ei la noi. La noi prin ochii celorlal\u021bi. E plin\u0103 de s\u0103rb\u0103tori, onomastici, s\u0103rb\u0103tori\u021bi, art\u0103, &#8230; <\/p>\n<div><a href=\"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/?p=44\" class=\"more-link\">Read More<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46,"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions\/46"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.achivoaie.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}